PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE THE BOOK BY THE OVER-ACTED, MEANINGLESS, HORRIBLY CAST, HORRIBLY WRITTEN MOVIES.
PLEASE forgive E.L. James for turning her books in to trash, and give her a 2nd chance. READ THE BOOKS. They are good. Really good. The movies are just crap. (Oh no. Just saw that E.L. James wrote the last one? I'm not fact-checking this - I'm sorry! - I feel like I've already given much too much of my time to this shit movie.)
I'm basing this on the first two, which I have seen. I hear there's a third, not sure when it is out. Why didn't I like them? That's fair...
1. Not to COMPARE, but how can I not. I'm not going in to detail...the movie is a skeleton of the book.
2. What's left out? Okay, nothing tells us how important and wealthy Christian Grey is. Sure, he's a billionaire. So are a number of people. The book made us know he was important.
3. The "bonus" features (watched on movie 2) were so thin they were simply useless. The "deleted scenes" revealed nothing and were about a minute each, two of them. The other bonus features? I don't know and I just watched last night...that's how UN-memorable they were.
4. Movie 1 was sensual maybe twice, for 15 seconds. Movie 2 was NOT. Never. Did you want to see steamy love scenes? Watch something else. There was NOTHING in movie 2 even remotely sexy. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. In fact, movie 2 had so little sex even. And they were under the covers.
5. This is petty. But as soon as "Ana's" bangs blow back in the wind or in the water, forget it. She goes from a 10 to a 2. There is a reason for all of those bangs people.
6. You will get so tired of hearing "Hurt me. Give it all to me. Show me how bad it can be." and as soon as Ana gets what she wants? It's "How could you do that to me. Wah wah wah. Why would you do this?" Because you - YOU! - asked him to. Remember? Like a minute ago.
7. And the worst? The VERY worst. Christian somehow lost his balls between movie 1 and movie 2. I mean they are M.I.A. He never scowled. He never felt powerful. He smiled. Often. Gross. He was so NOT sexy.
And the little inconsistencies were gag-able too. Like why do we see her all dressed up in a glorious black lingerie number with garters and hose and panties (you'll be begging her to pull them up a 1/2"), camisole, etc. and then she lifts her dress? Guess she forgot her elaborate outfit. That we just had to watch her pick up and pose and show off, etc. Trust me, even if this sounds small, ANNYOING. Or, after the helicopter accident, somehow Grey manages not a scratch except his head and he's still wearing the same clothes and Ana's gift is intact in his pocket. HE JUST CRASH LANDED HIS HELI IN THE MOUNTAINS FOR GOD SAKE. It takes him maybe 4 hours to find his way home from the depth of a canyon to his living room. SO SILLY.
It was comical how lame the movies were. I'm not usually so negative. Or at all. I know movies and books shouldn't be compared (to me). And that's not the point of this post. The point is to beg you to still read the books if you have only seen the movies. It would be hard for me to think that anyone would actually choose to read after watching this total crap.
The books were a 9/10 for me. The movies are barely a 2/10. Poor choice of actors too. The one I liked the best was Rita Ora as Grey's sister. And every other single actor sucked it. SUCKED IT. Not their fault either; bad writing, bad casting, laughable if you can manage to see the light side of things.
Good news we only hear Christian say "I'm 50 shades of fucked up" once. Thank goodness.
Apple must regret the product placement (everywhere). I thought Audi would be everywhere but it seems they backed off some. There were Audi's but they didn't play the role I felt they would have.
A movie that should have never been.
Fifty Shades is an American film series that consists of three erotic romantic drama films, based on the Fifty Shades trilogy by English author E. L. James. Wikipedia
Release date: February 9, 2015 (Los Angeles); February 13, 2015 (United States)
Music by: Danny Elfman
Box office: $571.1 million
Cast: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Rita Ora, Kim Basinger
Characters: Christian Grey, Anastasia Steele, Jack Hyde
Fifty Shades of Grey
Fifty Shades Darker
Fifty Shades Freed